Abandonware

I believe I'm part of the first generation that grew up with video games. I haven't really ever known life without them. I remember the Christmas when my brother got a Pong console (the APF "TV Fun" console) -- two built-in paddle controllers and a handful of games that featured lines and squares and three sound effects.

Eventually I enjoyed the Atari 2600 (we actually had the Sears Tele-Games system, the OEM version), then the Apple IIe, and a while after that was the Nintendo Entertainment System, Sega Genesis, an IBM PC, Dreamcast, PlayStation 2, Xbox 360, and several others along the way. I still fondly remember playing Yars' Revenge and turning the score counter over 33 times. Another game that sticks in my mind is Lode Runner for the Apple IIe.

The nice thing about having grown up and having technology grow up right along with me is that many of those games are available and playable now in the exact form in which they were released. It doesn't happen too much, but occasionally I'll have the urge to play a classic from yesteryear, so I fire up my browser and hit a few of my favorite sites for old video games. Abandonia.com is the first place I usually stop. Abandonia hosts all kinds of old games that are legal to download for free now because the games have been abandoned by their copyright holders (that's the gist of it). This kind of software is, appropriately, called "abandonware."

Suppose I wanted to get my retro video game fix and I visited abandonia.com, only to find out that it had been shut down due to lack of funding. For a moment or two I'd be disappointed, then I'd Google for some more classic gaming sites. It's just what we do these days. I don't have to maintain a website or a huge archive of old games; I just get to enjoy the resources of those who do.

You see, I like old video games -- I'm a bit of a fan. But I'm not a hardcore classic gaming freak. Many people are, and many of them run websites devoted to the genre. If I find myself of a mind to act on my fandom, I expect that there will be plenty of resources out there to help me indulge that impulse. I'll play for a while, enjoy it, then forget about it until next time.

This kind of habit is rampant in Christianity. Not gaming (though that's certainly something Christians do), but the up-and-down fandom and periodic indulgence in a form of perceived holiness. I'm sure it's been a trend since Christianity's inception, even since worship of YHWH was instituted in ancient Israel. We fondly remember some of the good things in our past when we've experienced God doing great things. Maybe we recall Christmas Eve services as a child and remember how inspiring they were. When the impulse comes to do something about it, we run to the people who maintain a deep walk with Christ or people who simply fit into an established, revered religious office. There we can hear religious truths, be made to feel good about ourselves, but have no accountability or longevity. Ultimately, there is no change.

When we're done we put those feelings back on the shelf from which we got them, happy to have been able to experience something good and religious, and maybe even Godly. But all too often we leave it to someone else to maintain the websites and offer free downloads of abandonware. We can be pseudo-fans of Jesus and think we're doing something acceptable.

"I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!" (Revelation 3:15-16, NLT)

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20 Items Or Less

A while back I was driving toward an odd five-way intersection and was about to make a left turn. I put my blinker on and waited for the police car coming toward me in the other lane to pass by. To my surprise, without using his blinker, the policeman slowed for what seemed like an eternity and made a right turn onto the road I was waiting to turn onto. Without sarcasm (to my wife's surprise and to my own), I said to my wife, "Hey, he didn't use a blinker. And look! He's talking on the phone!"

Very uncool.

As I was on my way to a church meeting one Sunday morning (also a while back), chugging along at the speed limit, a car zoomed past me, shattering the speed limit. The driver was dressed well, and given the time of day and the fact that we live in the Bible Belt, it's a moderately safe assumption that he was on his way to church services somewhere. I'm not stating that he was; just saying that it's probable.

I'm too critical -- this I know. However, in both cases above, I'm likely not the only person who'd notice that something was at least slightly awry.

All those reading are probably familiar with Jesus' parable of the talents in Matthew 25. There are a couple of points that are super-important. First, we're expected by God to be good stewards of the title "Christ-follower" and all that it includes. Second (not mentioned in the parable, so thereby not to be taken as the words of Jesus, but as my own) people are watching to see what we do. I should interject that I really need to give my two example people the benefit of the doubt, and I do, but they were perfect examples for this post. The cop may have been dealing with a personally stressful situation on the phone, and the speeding car could have been driven by a guy on his way to see his lady friend or something.

Following is a very short list of the kinds of things that the Christ-follower should never say. Legalist thinking? Not in my opinion.

• "I know I have 37 items in my basket, but this 'express' line at Chaos-Mart is shorter than the only other one that's open, so I'll use it anyway."
• "He won't ever know the difference."
• "I just don't feel convicted to obey the speed limit."
• "He needs to be taught a lesson." (...when uttered with a malicious heart. Otherwise, this one's permissible and can possibly be adviseable sometimes.)

These thoughts and others like them lead to wrong behavior -- behavior that people will observe. Even if we somehow don't consider the resulting actions to be destructive to our walk with Christ, that they can, and very likely will, wind up being destructive to our witness.

"Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world." (1 Peter 2:12, NLT)

Ripping off my own writing, this is a repost of "Obeying '20 Items or Less'" from EGBDF in 2008. Image above by Shaun Ellsworth, copyright The San Bernadino County Sun

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Reactionary Christianity

Did you see the news in late August when the American Atheists organization put up some billboards for the Democratic National Convention? Fox News reported on it, then the advertising company was bombarded with "a national outpouring of 'vitriol, threats and hate speech against our staff, volunteers and Adams Outdoor Advertising,'" (according to a spokesperson for American Atheists).

Fox News' original story is here and the post-billboard story from the Bradenton Herald is here.

As a result of the outpouring of negative feedback, whether or not it was as ugly as the American Atheists spokesperson described (I wouldn't be surprised if it was), the advertising company and the atheist organization decided to take the signs down.

In other words, Christians "won."

Or did we?

In the original Fox News article, a pastor from Christian Life Center said, "Of course it’s not appropriate, it’s never appropriate to insult another person, it’s never appropriate to disrespect another person."

I have nothing disparaging to say about that pastor because I realize that there's little context within which I can weigh that statement. Taking it at face value, though, the first thing I thought of when I read his statement was what Jesus said in Matthew 5:11-12. "Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." (NLT) Now, Jesus didn't give specifics on how to react, but the implication is that we're not to retaliate. In verses 38-40 He says not to resist an evil person and if something slaps us on the right cheek, we should offer the other one, too.

I believe reactionary "Christianity" messed up again. Although the deluge of responses surely wasn't made strictly by the Christian community, we can safely say that they will get "credit" for it. Here are some questions I have about this set of events:

1. What does this incident tell non-believers about Christians and by extension, about Jesus?
2. What would have been a better response, if any, from the Christian community?
3. If I'm wrong about all this, what am I missing or misunderstanding?

The FoxNews.com and American Atheists logos above are the property of their respective owners.

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Rewriting Jesus

The more I see and hear the news, the more I think many Christians must be using Bibles that have certain passages rewritten to accommodate their own personal or political worldviews and preferences:

Matthew 10:18 has got to be one of those passages: "You will stand trial before governors and kings because you are more righteous than other people. But this will be your opportunity to stand up for your rights."

And then there's Matthew 10:22-23. "And all nations will hate you because they are depraved. But everyone who fights to the end will be saved. When you are persecuted in one town, stay there and don't back down. I tell you the truth, the Son of Man will return before you have reached all the states of America."

Our actions, or the actions of many of those who do things in the name of "Christian values" tend to reflect a set of pseudo-Biblical principles that are often patriotic or self-focused more than they are Christ-exalting.

Here's what Jesus actually said in those two passages:

"You will stand trial before governors and kings because you are my followers. But this will be your opportunity to tell the rulers and other unbelievers about me." - Matthew 10:18 (NLT)

"And all nations will hate you because you are my followers. But everyone who endures to the end will be saved. When you are persecuted in one town, flee to the next. I tell you the truth, the Son of Man will return before you have reached all the towns of Israel." - Matthew 10:22-23 (NLT)

Sometimes I wonder what "Jesus" we're following.

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Your Five Favorite Christian Books

After a bit of a hiatus from blogging, I return with a simple question: other than the Bible, what are the five Christian books that have influenced your life the most or are simply your favorites?

Here's my list (links go to Amazon.com):

1. The Pilgrim's Progress - John Bunyan
(the link goes to a free Kindle edition of the book!)

2. Mere Christianity - C. S. Lewis
   
3. The Screwtape Letters - C. S. Lewis
   
4. Pagan Christianity - Frank Viola and George Barna
   
5. Not the Religious Type: Confessions of a Turncoat Atheist - Dave Schmelzer

And there's a bonus sixth book:

6. The Creator and the Cosmos - Hugh Ross
   

For the sake of brevity I won't give the reasons each of those books is on my top five/six list, but I highly recommend reading each one. I may elaborate in the comments.

What does your list look like? Feel free to share thoughts about what makes each of the books on your list special to you.

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What To Do With Those Stinking Hypocrites

Some people are worth our help, our grace, and our forgiveness. But some are worthless. Right?

No? I fear that evidence in our lives proves that many of us hold to this philosophy.

Over the past couple of years I've had the opportunity to share some of my past -- some things of which I'm not at all proud -- with a few brothers in Christ. Not at some group confessional, but in one-on-one situations when I've felt that some of my screw-ups (rather, their solutions) would help those friends in situations they've been going through.

The reason they're able to listen to those stories and not write me off as a completely dispicable person is that they know I'm not still that guy. I've had to repent of some big things, and now my goal, my desire, is to continually change to be conformed to the image of Jesus. Some of you, probably most of you, would give me that same grace given current conditions. You may know me personally or have read enough here to know that I don't want to be the old Dean anymore, and that God has done some serious things in my life. He's made minor and massive "adjustments" that were painful to me, seemed illogical, and weren't even changes I wanted for myself.

But what if you knew me when I was going through those situations? What if you knew that I called myself a Christian yet I did things that completely belied that description; things you'd probably call "evil" without a second thought? (No, I've not killed anyone or done anything nearly so heinous as that.)

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Perspective Matters

I listened to an older podcast from Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley, California this morning. Francis Chan was the teacher and the title of his message was "How To Respond When Bad Things Happen."

I have to admit that when I scrolled to the title and clicked the play button, I assumed it meant "How To Respond When Bad Things Happen To You." When I began to listen I found that Chan was talking about "How To Respond When Bad Things Happen To Other People." The sermon was delivered immediately following the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. He wasn't talking about bad things happening to me; he was talking about bad things happening to people to whom I could show compassion and give help.

With that realization I was ashamed. Ideas had already flipped through my mind about what would be talked about in the message -- how to react when I lose my job, when my marriage is on the rocks, when people despise me for no apparent reason, when I've made a stupid mistake, etc. I've heard sermons on all these things. But all of those ideas had me as the subject and God as the One who would lift me up out of my bad place, or at worst, God the Omnipotent Genie who would fix all my problems.

I'm one of those who has said, "If the Church had been following its mandate through history we wouldn't see such rampant poverty, hunger, and crime throughout the world. We wouldn't expect for our government to take care of needy families," and similar things that have made me feel pretty sure God's been impressed with my pious wisdom. In the meantime, I wonder if I've been the hands or feet of Christ and have been encouraging the Church to go together into the world to meet those needs.

My assumption this morning about the context of Chan's message reveals more about me than I'd like to admit, and is very likely the perspective of most in America who call themselves followers of Christ or Christians. It's "me and Jesus" -- how can God help me through my pet trial? How can I show my perspective to the Church and the world?

May God correct our perspective.

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How Would You Describe Me?

A few days ago a friend at work presented me with an idea that might possibly tell me everything I need to know about myself -- or maybe just an most important thing I need to know about myself -- from a perspective that's outside of my own.

He asked the following simple question of an acquaintance at work and received an answer that he didn't want to hear. He asked, "How would you describe me?" The response was, essentially, that he's a die-hard football fan. That would bring smiles to many die-hard football fans, but what he wanted to be told was something that had to do with Jesus Christ in him. The answer sparked a fairly dramatic change in his day-to-day activities.

What if you asked your coworker, "How you you describe me?" Would the answer have "Jesus" anywhere in it?

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Rebirth or Last Will and Testament of the Church?

I've not forgotten about part 3 of "A Crash Course in Hermeneutics". It will be posted soon.

Before my long-time friend Christy Ellis sent the text of this document to me, I'd never heard of "The Last Will and Testament of Springfield Presbytery," which first appeared in The Herald of Gospel Liberty in 1803 (Vol. 1, No. 1, pp. 2-3). As I began to read it, it unfolded in such a way that I realized that the authors were as nutty as I am. Do I agree with all of it? No, but see if you can tell what they're getting at:

"The Presbytery of Springfield, sitting at Caneridge, in the county of Bourbon, being through a gracious Providence, in more than ordinary bodily health, growing in strength and size daily, and in perfect soundness and composure of mind; but knowing that it is appointed for all delegated bodies once to die and considering that the life of every such body is very uncertain, do make and ordain this our Last Will and Testament, in manner and form following, viz:

"Imprimis. We will that this body die, be dissolved, and sink into union with the Body of Christ at large: for there is but one body and one spirit, even as we are called in one hope of our calling.

"Item. We will, that our name of distinction, with its Reverend title, be forgotten, that there be but one Lord over God's heritage, and his name one.

"Item. We will, that our power of making laws for the government of the church, and executing them by delegated authority, forever cease; that, the people may have free course to the Bible, and adopt the law of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus.

"Item. We will, that candidates for the Gospel ministry henceforth study the holy scriptures with fervent prayer, and obtain license from God to preach the simple Gospel with the Holy Ghost sent down from heaven, without any mixture of philosophy, vain deceit, [2] traditions of men, the rudiments of the world. And let none henceforth take this honor to himself, but he that is called of God, as was Aaron.

"Item. We will, that the church of Christ assume her native right of internal government--try her candidates for the ministry, as to their soundness in the faith, acquaintance with experimental religion, gravity and aptness to teach; and admit no other proof of their authority, but Christ speaking in them. We will that the church of Christ look up to the Lord of the harvest to send forth labourers into his harvest; and that she resume her primitive right of trying those who say they are Apostles, and are not.

"Item. We will, that each particular church, as a body, actuated by the same spirit, choose her own preacher, and support him by a free will offering without written call or subscription--admit members--remove offences; and never henceforth delegate her right of government to any man or set of men whatever.

"Item. We will, that the people henceforth take the Bible as the only sure guide to heaven; and as many as are offended with other books, which stand in competition with it, may cast them into the fire if they choose: for it is better to enter into life having one book, than having many to be cast into hell.

"Item. We will, that preachers and people, cultivate a spirit of mutual forbearance, pray more and dispute less; and while they behold the signs of the times, look up and confidently expect that redemption draweth nigh."

There is more. You can read the complete text here.

It's worth noting that not everyone in the church took too well to this document, which was officially signed/witnessed by six men I assume were elders. Some apparently felt coerced into agreeing to it, or maybe they just felt embarrassed later and tried to save face by maligning the man who brought the document to the church body.

Three years later one of the men wrote this in a document called (wait for it...) "A Brief Historical Account of Sundry Things in the Doctrines and State of the Christian, or as it is Commonly Called The Newlight Church":

"When we first existed as a church, we had the Presbyterial form of government. But Richard M'Nemar, that eccentric genius, who was then believed by most of us to possess a high degree of piety, power, and great light in religion, took it into his head that our existence in a formal body, as a Presbytery, was contrary to scripture--that our bond of union was a carnal bond--that we ought to be united by no bond but Christian love--and that this delegated body stood full in the way of Christ, and the progress of the revival; which revival would run like fire in dry stubble, if our Presbytery was out of the way. With these enchanting views, and others as visionary and vain, he prepared a piece at home, and brought it to the last meeting of our Presbytery held at Caneridge, Bourbon County, Kentucky, June, 1804, entitled, "The Last Will and Testament of Springfield Presbytery." None of us had the least thought of such a thing when we came to that meeting; and when it was proposed, we had many objections against dissolving our Presbytery. But, after being together several days, those enthusiastic fancies so far gained the ascendency over our judgment, that we consented to subscribe the obnoxious instrument."

It was disappointing to me to read that last gentleman's statement. Sort of reminded me of Obstinate and Pliable turning back from their walk with Christian in "The Pilgrim's Progress" (link goes to a FREE Kindle download of the classic book at Amazon.com) after one encounter with trouble. Eventually Pliable listened to people who told him how stupid he'd been to begin the journey toward the Celestial City, so he joined in with those who were ridiculing Christian.

This same situation is reflected today in what has become a mass exodus from the culturally-understood model of "church." (I would call it "traditional," but in actuality today's Church does not build on the original tradition or practice of the early church.)

What are your thoughts? Is this kind of "movement" -- then or now -- a good thing, or is it an action and mindset that is destructive to the Church?

All bold emphases in quoted text above are mine.

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High School Football, Christians, and an Atheist

If you're the lone guy out of 300 who doesn't like to hear "Jesus" at the beginning of a football game, for Pete's sake, go buy a $1.97 set of earplugs, you whining cheapskate.

The story is now national news. Ace news-hound and pal Leroy alerted me this morning that FOX News has given Lauderdale County High Schools, Christians, and an atheist a moment in the sun.

The man who complained about prayers over the intercom at high school football games cites the elusive "separation of church and state" precedent in the First Amendment. Whoops! Nobody seems to have let him know that this is actually a phrase most famously written by Thomas Jefferson (who did not participate in authoring the U.S. Constitution or the First Amendment) in 1802.

While Christ-followers may see this as a major issue, we all need to understand that this situation has more depth -- and potential negative consequences -- than we realize. It's not simply a matter of Christians standing up for their religious rights or yet another argument about whether certain things are guaranteed in the First Amendment.

We may be on the same page so far, but if you keep reading get ready to dislike me, unfriend me on Facebook, say I'm compromising with the world, or whatever. Think about what I have to say, though.

I have incredible problems with the implications of the Christian community's response and the double-standard it is clearly communicating. It would be better if the local Christian community said, "We DO want Christianity to be the sanctioned public religion," because frankly, that's much more honest.

A pastor is quoted in the article saying during his sermon on Sunday, "It’s very sad. I would think that any other prayer from another religion would not receive this kind of negativity."

Really? I'll probably give him that if he's referring to the media not being negative about other religions or public prayers. But the Christian community would go absolutely ballistic if a small group of Hindus prayed over the intercom to Krishna or Shiva, or if a Muslim group offered prayers in Allah's name over the P.A. System.

Take the same insulted and indignant Christians in the news story and put them in that circumstance. Spend a few moments imagining their reaction.

Also from the article, referring to the pastor: "Christianity, he said, is under attack. 'It’s going on all over the place,' he said. 'You just hate for it to be coming to your doorstep.'"

But haven't we all heard sermons on this passage? Or this one? What about this other one? How about when Jesus said this? Are we seriously supposed to dread it when people attack Christianity? Jesus says that we're supposed to be glad about it. Very glad. The rest of the Bible reiterates this. Our response is to get PO'ed, though: "You heathens will NOT take away our 'God-given right' to worship the way we choose!" I can't find that concept anywhere in the New Testament.

The first-century Church's response to attacks was, incredibly, to go out and preach Jesus Christ and leave the defense of their "rights" to God if He saw fit.

"And now, O Lord, hear their threats, and give us, your servants, great boldness in preaching your word. Stretch out your hand with healing power; may miraculous signs and wonders be done through the name of your holy servant Jesus." After this prayer, the meeting place shook, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit. Then they preached the word of God with boldness." - Acts 4:29-31, NLT

While we may feel like we're doing the right thing in the way we publicly respond and in the way we discuss this with friends or co-workers, we're often displaying repulsive hypocrisy to non-believers.

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This ΙΧΘΥΣ Unit Has a Bad Motivator

I apologize, but this post contains no Star Wars allusions other than the title.

Photo via radio.foxnews.com

On a heads-up via a tweet from my friend Jay, I read an article from WAFF TV -- the story of Lauderdale County, AL high schools being challenged regarding prayers over the PA system to open football games each Friday. Simply stated, "The Freedom from Religion Foundation called the prayers over loudspeakers illegal."

Now that a challenge to a traditional public prayer has been made, it seems to set the stage for Christians to respond or react. I commented on our reactions to these kinds of situations at this blog a few days ago. In fairness, it can be difficult to determine the most Christ-honoring way of responding or reacting to a person or group that acts in opposition to something we value.

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When Christians Attack

Buddy the Christmas Puppy and Jesse the Over-sized Kitty don't get along too well most of the time.

For example, if one of us in the house sees Jesse clawing something he shouldn't and we scold him from across the room, "Jesse! Stop that!" Buddy will hear from whatever room he's in and come running, acting in his self-ordained role of Buddy the Hall Monitor and viciously growl and bark cease and desist orders at Jesse, who will then hiss at his nemesis and run to the safety of the bedroom that's inaccessible to the dogs.

It seems strange, then, that the two of them actually care about one another. This morning Buddy apparently caught one of his sibling puppies doing something "illegal" and ran to address it. A fight ensued, which I heard from the living room. It was one of those snarling, not-at-all-playful fights. I jumped from my chair and knowing that Buddy can be a bully, I snatched him up and while supporting him with one hand I swatted his bottom with the other and chided him forcefully, "Buddy, no!!"

Jesse in his natural habitat

I suddenly realized that Jesse had come to investigate the commotion, as well, because as soon as my hand landed on Buddy's hind quarters I felt the stabbing pain of cat claws and fangs in my leg. Shocked, I turned my attention down to Jesse and simply blurted out, "Jesse!" Assuming he was worked up because of the ruckus and was acting on instinct by clawing something, I looked back up at Buddy, still in my hand, and gave him one final bottom-tap and scolded him again. And Jesse showed me the claws weren't an accident the first time -- he displayed his disapproval by attacking the same leg.

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Looking to What Lies Ahead

Every evening at our home when I was a boy we'd gather in my parents' bedroom and have a devotional. Typically it was from the publication "Our Daily Bread". An illustration or two from those pages have stuck with me. I paraphrase one to myself every time I mow our lawn.

Two men were cutting grass at their respective houses. Each had a rather large yard and both had push mowers.

In order to make sure his rows were cut in a straight line, the first pushed his mower for a bit, then looked back to make sure he'd cut in a straight line. Convinced that he had, he continued on. After a couple of stops doing this, he noticed that he had a few strips of individual fairly straight lines cut, but they didn't line up with one another.

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When God Sounds Like a Charlie Brown Grown-Up

Yes, yes, Charles Schulz' comic strip is called "Peanuts", not "Charlie Brown", but I figured the latter would be most familiar for a title.

Most people of my generation are familiar with the voices of Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus, and the rest of the "Peanuts" entourage. Those who are younger have surely seen the Christmas special, if nothing else.

I'm not sure if it's the most enjoyable or most annoying feature of the animated shows, but adults in Charlie Brown's world talk like this: "Wa-WAUGH-wuh-wauh-waw." The kids on the cartoon understand what the adults are saying. I don't.

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But I Can't!

I imagine myself standing outside my daughter's room, aware that it resembles a tornado-swept laundromat/toy store more than it does a 12-year-old's bedroom, knocking on the locked door and saying in as mild-mannered a voice as possible, "Alaina, open your door so I can come in and clean you room for you." Note that I'm saying I'll do it for her, not with her.

And I imagine her slightly-muted response, "But it's too messy. I CAN'T clean it." Believe it or not, I have heard this kind of statement from her. If you have a typical kid, you've probably heard something like it, too.

Now, this scenario is not too typical in our house, but I want you to see the disconnection in the illustration. I offer to clean the room for her and her response is that she can't clean the room, and she keeps her door locked. Obviously we're not communicating on the same channel here.

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5 Things Jesus Taught... (Part 5)

Finally (for this series, anyway)...

5) "Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you." (Matthew 7:12, NLT)

If we wanted to over-analyze it (something I tend to do), we could get into a pitcher-verses-batter scenario: the pitcher reasons, "He's going to expect me to throw a fastball here, so I can't throw a fastball. I could use my slider, but he knows that's my second-best pitch, therefore I can't throw the slider. Realizing that, since we
both know I can't throw the slider in this situation, I'll throw the curve..." and so forth. (Check out "The Princess Bride" for more on this scenario.)

That is, as followers of Jesus, we know we're supposed to look out others before we look out for ourselves. Understanding that, if we're supposed to treat others the way we want to be treated (and we don't want to be treated better than anyone else), we can treat others worse than we treat ourselves. And so the endless cycle could continue for the too-deep-thinker. But the obvious meaning is that we should have grace toward everyone. Treat them better than they have a right to be treated. This is the way that God has treated us. I heard a fantastic quote today:

"You can't demontrate grace to someone until the other person doesn't deserve it."

Ow. Really?? (Yes, peeps. I'm afraid that's basically the definition of "grace.")

Honestly, I probably deserve to be humiliated, degraded, and punished publicly for any number of things that I've done. But God sees me as righteous -- as good, and worthy of knowing Him as Father -- not becaue of anything good I've done to make up for the bad things, but because Jesus Christ has given me that status.

"You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had:" (Philippians 2:5, NLT)

Jesus willingly died a criminal's death at the hands of the dirty, rebellious beings He Himself created. It's a tall order to think that He might expect the same of us, isn't it?

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5 Things Jesus Taught That We Apparently Ought Not Take Literally (Part 4)

Day four: does Jesus' instruction on giving stand up to real-life scrutiny?

But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you." (Matthew 6:3-4, NLT)

Right off the bat, you'll probably realize that your left hand doesn't have eyes or a brain and neither does your right hand. Therefore we can know that this whole statement is intended as simply an emblematic thought. We can confidently deduce that Jesus didn't literally mean, "Give your gifts in private" when He said ,"Give your gifts in private."

Further, if we actually did give our gifts to the needy in private without letting anyone know about it, I wonder if we'd still be able to declare it on our income tax. In modern society, that's just what we do. And we're not actually doing it to get a return on our money; we're just keeping a good, solid record of our contributions (to be non-caustic for a moment, it's a very good thing to keep solid financial records and I am not suggesting otherwise). We always need to make sure we cover our own interests in case God drops the ball and doesn't reward us as Jesus said He would. You see, it might not be a monetary reward, and when we give money we should logically expect money back.

Another question: if we lived this way, would we still be able to get the occasional awesome free gift in exchange for our donation to such-and-such a ministry or charity? After all, human nature is such that in order for us to be reminded to give to needy people, we have to be given something in return. If we can't let anyone know about our gift, they won't know where to send the miracle spring water.

Finally, I don't think this applies at all to church building programs, although they're probably just as good as "giving to the needy." We should give with the expectation of a plaque with our name on it in order to be a good example of stewardship for other believers to see so that they, too will give to people in need the building program. Jesus may have forgotten about our giving being a good example to other people.

In case you didn't pick up on it for some reason, I'll close with a reminder that this post is delivered with sarcasm. This is not done to belittle anyone or throw stones; sometimes seeing ourselves through ridiculous lenses can point us toward truth.

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5 Things Jesus Taught That We Apparently Ought Not Take Literally (Part 3)

Welcome to number three! I've thought about this for a while and I may retroactively change the title of this series to "5 Things Jesus Taught That He Apparently Didn't Really Mean," because these really aren't literal-vs-figurative issues.

That being said, let's move along and have a look at another important thing Jesus said during the Sermon on the Mount that He didn't really mean for us to do (therefore it may not be so important):

(Obligatory note that this is intended to communicate a point by using irony.)

3) "You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!" (Matthew 5:43-44, NLT)

I'm not sure I really need to elaborate on this one. But I will, otherwise I wouldn't really have much of a post here, would I?

Who in his right mind would do this? Oh, I know some of us can muster up a prayer for our enemies, but it's probably often something along the lines of, "Father God, I just want to ask You, Father God, to just please make it clear to Aunt Mabel, Father God, that she is dead-wrong and I am right," or "Lord, I pray You'll give Joe Bob the smack-down for the way he treated me last week. Vengeance is Yours, as Scripture saith. Any may it be sweet."

To be sure, some people claim that Stephen in the first-century Church seemed to think that Jesus meant this to be acted upon: "As they stoned him, Stephen prayed, 'Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.' He fell to his knees, shouting, 'Lord, don’t charge them with this sin!' And with that, he died." (Acts 7:59-60, NLT) However, this can easily be dismissed by noting the cultural differences between our society and society 2,000 years ago.

I anticipate that the majority of Christians reading this don't particularly love their enemies or pray for blessings on them. I say this because I've been in that boat, and probably only 2% or so of the Christians I've ever known actually put this into practice. No, I don't know every Christian, but I'm confident that I know a healthy representative sampling of them.

Therefore it's glaringly obvious that we should consider this teaching of Jesus to be something that isn't really meant to be put into practice, but rather an unattainable spiritual concept that is always to be thought of in a good way. If we dwell on this idea long enough, we will start to think it's actually true of us (though in fact it may not be representative of us at all). And that makes Jesus proud of us.

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5 Things Jesus Taught That We Apparently Ought Not Take Literally (Part 2)

The honor, respect, and obedience due Jesus Christ and what He taught is often sadly lacking among those who claim to be His followers. We seem to be incredibly hard of (spiritual) hearing, or maybe we're just too thick-headed to really understand sometimes.

I'm reminded of a scene in Monty Python's film The Life of Brian (a movie which many understandably find shockingly sacrilegious). Jesus, standing on a hill far away as He teaches a large crowd, says, "Blessed are the peacemakers..." The little group in the scene has been arguing and as a result others can't hear, so an agitated man asks, "Could you be quiet, please? What was that?" He's told by another man, "I think He said, 'Blessed are the cheese-makers.'" A woman expresses her puzzlement, "Ah. What's so special about the cheese-makers?" A man attempts to clear things up by saying, "Well obviously it's not meant to be taken literally, it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products."

Too close for comfort. We try to listen but Jesus' voice is drowned out by everything else going on around us and we just pick up little bits we hear from others, often far afield from what Jesus really said. Often we honestly don't care to listen (and Jesus' teachings seem to fit quite nicely into two hours on Sunday, anyway). On that note that we will commence with the second teaching of Jesus that is apparently not meant to be taken literally.

(I didn't want to spell it out, but if this all sounds like I've gone a bit crazy, please put on your Irony Glasses and read it again.)

2) "So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God." (Matthew 5:23-24, NLT)

Why shouldn't we take this literally? What I see first is that most of us don't go to a temple to offer a sacrifice, so that automatically puts this passage in "good example" territory, sort of like a witty sermon illustration.

And as with yesterday's point number one, we have tradition on our side. Not many Christians actually do this, right? If someone harbors resentment toward us and we know we're in the right, that's the other person's problem. I probably don't need to mention that grudges are apparently okay, otherwise followers of Jesus would not hold them.

So as with yesterday's non-literal teaching, since we have so little evidence of this happening in the Church, we can safely file this one away in the "good thing to keep in mind" category, as well. Jesus must have meant that if this is what we aspire to do in our hearts, that's good enough, whether or not we actually follow through with it.

(Finishing on a serious note, one thing to notice is that Jesus said that I shouldn't offer my sacrifice if someone has something against me; He doesn't say it the other way around. Of course I must not let my own ill feelings linger, but here Jesus is talking about going to those people who have something against me, have mocked me, persecuted me, or lied about me -- whether they have absolutely no reason or a very good reason.)

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5 Things Jesus Taught That We Apparently Ought Not Take Literally (Part 1)

Welcome, kids! A fabulous multi-part series begins today. Each day we'll take a teaching of Jesus from the Sermon on the Mount, and I'll explain why each one was probably not meant to be taken literally. Let's jump right in, shall we?

1) "God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way." (Matthew 5:11-12, NLT)

Why shouldn't we take this literally? First of all, when people mock us, persecute us, and lie about us, it's usually not because we're following Jesus. Typically people do things like this to us because of things like our really bad hair, because we may have a more cushy job than the next person, or maybe we have a terrible attitude about whatever seems to be bothering us at any given moment.

Second, when people do act like this toward us, we Christians most frequently react in a variety of ways, none of which is "getting happy" (though there are the rare exceptions). Rather, we get angry or depressed, we might decide to stop talking to the offending person (or worse, we may un-friend them on Facebook), and if someone lies about us we'll make every effort to clear our good name, usually by degrading the other person.

I can't think of too many people I know who've been glad in the face of persecution. Unfortunately, I don't have a great record, either.

So it's obvious from the way most of we Christ-followers behave that Jesus didn't mean for us to take Him literally here; just look at the evidence. I'd say that tradition and history are on the side of Jesus being figurative with the "joy in trials" statement. What He probably meant is that if you consider yourself the type of person who might hold up well under such circumstances, everything is just fine and you will be blessed.

Stay tuned as we present another eye-opening exposition tomorrow!

Please note that while there is truth to much of what I've written above, I was going for thick irony in the conclusion.

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