Happy 20th Aniversary To Me (and Callie)!

Two days ago (April 6, 2011) my wife and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary! I sometimes think that I'd love to go back and change some of the stupid things I've done over the course of our lives together, but when I realize that even those things had a hand in bringing us to where we are today (keeping a correct reading of Romans 8:28 in mind; God didn't cause or tempt either of us to make mistakes, but as we've pursued and loved Him He's brought good out of them when they've come along), I decide that I wouldn't want to change a thing -- even the things that hurt badly at the time.

Together we've learned some very important facts over these often-strange yet ultimately fantastic years: 

• If you love (in actions as well as "in your heart") God before all else, your spouse next, and yourself last, even times that are horribly tough will be situations that you will weather.
• If it's just religious-speak to say that you love God before all else, your spouse next, and yourself last, your relationship is likely going to be very difficult.
• The best things (spiritual growth, relational growth, love, understanding of the other person, etc.) come if both of you are willing to (and do) love God before all else, your spouse next, and yourself last.

Do you see a common theme? If so, I think you should grab a highlighter and mark your screen so you'll never forget it.

On Wednesday I celebrated our anniversary publicly by posting to Twitter and Facebook 20 reasons that I love my wife. Without further ado, here is the list:

1. She loves Jesus Christ.

2. She loves me.

3. She is unfathomably forgiving.

4. She has incredibly amazing taste in men

5. She is not absent-minded like I am.

6. She likes almost all the same music I like.

7. She is beautiful (and not just that "internal beauty" thing people talk about).

8. She overlooks my faults and loves me in spite of them.

9. She doesn't let on that she's embarrassed when I wear white pants at age 41 (and prior to Easter).

10. She is a self-sacrificing mother.

11. She no longer gets visibly irritated when I forget stuff.

12. She will most likely forgive me for embarrassing her by posting "20 Things I Love About My Wife" one item at a time.

13. She is persistent about me building bookcases and an addition to the house. Wait, don't count this one...

13. She tolerates my hyper-uber-long-range contemplative phase prior to building bookcases and an addition to the house.

14. She got me Superman floor mats for our anniversary!

15. She likes big-budget sci-fi and action/adventure movies

16. She's happy with life even though we can't afford as much cool stuff as many of our friends.

17. She often reminds me of the heart of a Scripture whem I'm trying to go all philosophical (naah, this *never* happens).

18. She has a double-standard: she values my welfare above her own.

19. She didn't break up with me after I wrote that disuietingly-awful song (and played the tape) for her 22 years ago.

20. She knew me well and married me anyway, then got to know me *very* well and stayed with me anyway. Amazing!

Happy anniversary, Callie! I love you!

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Reading E-Mails From the Rooftops

I believe modern technology has given us the chance for a new perspective on something Jesus said.

“Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees—their hypocrisy. The time is coming when everything that is covered up will be revealed, and all that is secret will be made known to all. Whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be shouted from the housetops for all to hear!" (Luke 12:2b-3, NLT)

Obviously Jesus is using a bit of metaphor here; I doubt that there will be a town crier who climbs on top of a house in your neighborhood, screaming at the top of his lungs to tell them how bad you talked about your co-worker the other day, or how you insulted the hairdresser who cut your hair too short (again).

But I don't think we believe that Jesus knew what He was talking about, or we really don't believe Him. There's not much metaphor in "all that is secret will be made known to all."

Several days ago I was going to mention something to a friend in an e-mail, and it would've involved a personal observation about another person. Not even a judgment call; just my reaction to something in particular. What I was going to say wasn't bad, but before I hit "send" I read it again and thought, "How would I feel if I heard that this person said the exact same thing about me? Would it tell me that he's close to Christ, or would I think that he's being petty?"

I deleted that paragraph; it showed me some things about myself. It told me about my hypocrisy.

Does this kind of thing fit what Jesus was talking about in Luke 12? You'll probably want to read the surrounding passages.

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If Dogs Could Only REASON...

Two days ago, Molly the Pitiful Attention-Starved Puppy (pictured, weighing in at 11 pounds, henceforth called "Molly the Needy") walked past Jesse the Home Owner (a typical cat, though he weighs 21 pounds). As she passed him, for no reason I could see, Jesse batted Molly the Needy in the side with his paw.

Molly the Needy kept walking toward me, still wagging her tail and glancing at Jesse.

After I'd given Molly the Needy the attention she was apparently desperately lacking, she simply walked over to Jesse the Home Owner and licked him on the face. Although Jesse recoiled slightly, he didn't reciprocate with a slash or a vicious punch to the head.

And they lived happily ever after.

No, really. This kind of thing happens from time to time at my house, yet the animals live together without any of them mauling the others, and they seem to actually like one another (Molly the Needy's scrappy little brother, Buddy the Christmas Puppy, keeps Jesse in line as necessary).

If Molly the Needy were blessed with higher reasoning, as are we humans, eventually she'd get to the point at which she'd say to herself, "Darn it, I've had enough of that mean cat. If he does that again I'm going to foam at the mouth and bite him, just the way I handle people when they try to take me out of someone's lap." But sadly, she doesn't possess our elevated level of enlightenment, so the animals are doomed to live in peace and harmony.

Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!"
- Matthew 18:21-22, (NLT)

“You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. [we obviously don't believe that sentence, even though we quote it very piously!] If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow."
- Jesus, quoted in Matthew 5:38-42 (NLT)

So if someone sues me and is awarded my car, I should give them the XM Radio that's in it?! Only an idiot would do that. Wait... no... Jesus surely didn't mean that literally! He just meant "Be willing to give someone your coat." Right?

"Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets."
- Jesus, quoted in Matthew 7:12 (NLT)

And the biggest one of all...

One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
- Matthew 22:35-40 (NLT)

(Can you tell I've been reading Matthew this month?)

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A Dish Best Served Cold?

Don’t testify against your neighbors without cause;
    don’t lie about them.
And don’t say, “Now I can pay them back for what they’ve done to me!
    I’ll get even with them!”
- Proverbs 24:28-29 (NLT)

Here's a really simple principle. Don't try to get revenge on people. "Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you," is the way Jesus put it. Like so many other instructions we're given, this sounds like a really great principle. It's one we hold to tightly.. until someone does something to us that we're sure deserves our retailation, if for no other reason than to teach them a lesson.

I've found that I don't struggle with this concept unless I'm thrust into a situation where I actually have to practice it. Then my inner desire for self-defense -- the entitlement impulse -- tempts me by saying that all bets are off. But the times when it's most difficult to obey the Word are actually the times I believe it's most critical that we do obey. It's no good to rationalize and tell yourself why you're justified in some kind of retribution. The fact is that we're not given liberty to do that.

Paul wrote in Romans 12:19, "Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, 'I will take revenge; I will pay them back,' says the Lord." In essence, if we decide we're justified in retaliating whether it's in action or by simply ignoring someone (or maybe deleting them from your friend list on Facebook), we're stepping in to try to fill God's shoes, if only for a moment. That's the height of arrogance.

It's interesting to me that the writer of Proverbs groups this with lying about your neighbor.

I've learned that the best response, instead of taking offense in any given situation, is to start by getting over myself.

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Pride and Conflict

Pride leads to conflict;
     those who take advice are wise.
- Proverbs 13:10 (NLT)

Great quote from a guy who has many doctrinal stances with which I disagree:

"One of the greatest spiritual advances that I ever made in my life was when it suddenly dawned on me one day that I did not have to win." - John W. Ritenbaugh

(Verse and quote from The Berean daily devotional)

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Eight Reasons I Don't Share My Faith

If you're like me, you probably won't sit down with the intent to watch all six minutes and 21 seconds of this video. However, I watched the whole thing (in spite of nearly navigating away twice) and laughed repeatedly and understandingly. You are hereby charged to do the same.



Here's a link to the video, in case you can't see it embedded for some reason.

To give proper credit, the video was made by a couple of brothers with the YouTube user name rebolution, and they have some other pretty cool videos posted (check out Extreme (Photoshop) Makeover), though I don't know them and therefore can't vouch for the appropriateness of anything except the two videos referred to herein.

I think Eight Reasons... sums up most Christ-followers' various fears and excuses about not talking to people about repentance and new life in Christ.

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Telling It Like It Is

When I was pretty new to recording engineering, I decided I'd go to a recording studio other than the one at which I worked, to record one particular song. I'm not sure why I did that. I think that I wanted to be the recording artist for once rather than the engineer, too -- not to have to sit in the chair at the mixing board with a mic in front of me, set levels, plug compressors and things in, hit record, and then use a footswitch to "punch in" the notes that were wrong (a method in which one sings or plays and records over only the sections that were bad the first time).

The song was a complete and utter stinker. Embarrassingly bad. It was unfortunately called "Forgive Me" and was written to be a guy-sings-to-girl-to-prove-to-her-that-he-has-emotions-too ballad. I don't recall the whole thing, but I do recall its general horrendousness.

I sat in the control room with the engineer and his girlfriend, listening to playback of one of the "acceptable" vocal takes, and I asked the girl what she thought about it. I believe she said, "I think it's sweet," and I remember the look of hesitation on her face (she may have thrown up later; I'm not sure). When I grilled my then-girlfriend (now-wife) about it later as I made her listen to the tape 473 times, she made this moving statement in response: "I like it."

It took a long time for it to dawn on me, but after my wife and I were married and I'd just played her yet another one of my original songs and she repeated the "I like it" mantra, I stopped the tape and said, "Callie, you always say that. What do you really think about this song?" She proceeded to tell me just what she thought. It was blunt and it definitely wasn't "I like it." And I was very happy! From that moment on she hasn't hesitated to tell me what she really thinks about the music I record (at least, I think she hasn't...).

This past Sunday afternoon following the second service, a friend (and reader of this blog) came to me and said, "Dean, I have a problem." He proceeded to kindly but directly let me know of something that he had an issue with -- something that was in my area of responsibility. I listened, and as I did, I thought, "You know what? He's got a great point." So I apologized, said that I would correct it, and I thanked him for letting me know.

I'm not bragging on myself for accepting criticism -- not at all. I'm bragging on this friend in a huge way. Rather than talking with friends and getting an assessment of whether they, too, thought that this thing he brought to me was a problem, venting to them, letting it fester, etc., he immediately came to me and directly stated his point of view. Phenomenal!! And this guy is a non-confrontational type.

How many of us don't do that? I'd say that our lives in general may be warped enough so that we sometimes don't know when our talk is gossip and when asking about a consensus opinion is actually stirring up discontent. I may disagree with a person voicing his stance, but I need to know. And I need to listen.

"If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back." - Jesus, in Matthew 18:15 (NLT)

People in your church fellowship and leadership need to hear from you if you have an issue with how they are ministering (or not). If you fear you're becoming a squeaky wheel, then examine your heart first, and go to them squeaking if you have to. But do not complain to someone else about it first.

Another important fact: people in your church leadership need to know when you are happy with what they're doing or how they're acting.

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Elihu Syndrome?

Came across this in today's Scripture reading. Isn't it odd how Job's friend Elihu was absolutely right about what he was saying about God, but wrong in applying it to Job?

Look up into the sky,
and see the clouds high above you.
If you sin, how does that affect God?
Even if you sin again and again,
what effect will it have on him?
If you are good, is this some great gift to him?
What could you possibly give him?
No, your sins affect only people like yourself,
and your good deeds also affect only humans.
- Job 35:5-8 (NLT)

This is the same thing that we're prone to do when reading a Scripture and thinking, "Jeepers, so-and-so needs this word from the Lord (but I don't)." I've mentioned this syndrome before, and I think surely it's got to have a name.

(By the way, here's a great perspective-giving line from the above Scripture: "If you are good, is this some great gift to [God]?")

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Living as Holy as a Pastor

I'd initially thought about not posting this because I didn't want to risk kicking up dust, but I've changed my mind. Something said in the comments the other day under the post "Appreciation Into Idolatry" has got me wanting to express something that I've thought for a long time. I've heard this statement before, but it deserves serious consideration:

"It should be the job of every pastor to put himself out of a job."

Doesn't that statement ring true? Pastors are not called to live lives that are more holy than those of non-pastors. As a church leader, part of my task should be to teach, train, and focus our people on Jesus Christ and often to see them raised up to become leaders themselves. As the people in our church fellowships live out their lives, we ought to see them grow in knowledge, wisdom, love, and boldness as their faith is built larger and larger upon the foundation of Christ, and this transformation should have outwardly visible results.

I don't believe it's a problem with "the system," but I do believe there's a problem of laziness -- all of us having adapted to our way of doing "church" for so long that we nearly always take a very easy route. We don't hold one another accountable. We don't show love to one another as our sense of community grows (if our sense of community does, indeed, grow). Do we go to "a church full of strangers," as a friend hypothetically commented to me yesterday?

Think about that family or person that typically sits down the pew (or chairs or stadium seating, as the case may be) from you on Sunday. I mean it -- visualize them right now. Have they ever been to your house? Have you ever been to theirs? Do you ever get together with people outside of a church setting to talk about the Word? Not just your "insider" group of close friends, but new people. Brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. This is the stuff that shatters comfort zones...

Are you, like I, lamenting the fact that the Church isn't making a big impact in the world? Could this be an indicator of why? We can sometimes barely even start touching others in our own congregations. How can we expect to touch people outside of them?

I'm blessed to be part of a fellowship that doesn't expect the pastoral staff to be the go-to team that has "got everyone's back" in difficult situations. My guess is that your fellowship is like that, too. My concern is really with the large percentage of church members who don't think that way. Our action may be what God uses to stir them out of complacency.

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Church People and Our Assumptions

In order to go about "being the Church," one imperative is that we stop focusing on other people's perceived shortcomings (I really want to say "you" instead of "we" because I think it would sound more personal). It goes for me, but it goes for you first (and vice versa, odd as that may sound). Chances are pretty high that most of the shortcomings you and I focus on in other people are more like presumptuous leaps and assumptions about motives.

I don't mean that we're not to hold other Christ-followers to the high standard that's been set for us in the Word. If we find that a fellow believer is in error or sin, it's our responsibility as their family to help them back to the right path: "Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself." - Galatians 6:1 (NLT)

We like to quote, "By their fruits ye shall know them..." (Matthew 7:16, ASV) However, willy-nilly fault-finding immediately leads to a superiority complex. And once we start, it's difficult to stop doing it!

If you start a complex math problem and get one of the early sums wrong, but continue working it out with that incorrect value, the wrong value will not correct itself as you get deeper into the problem. Instead, it will throw all the other values out of whack and lead to a wildly wrong answer. The same can happen in our observations of other Christ-followers. If we start by assuming a particular motive, we can easily determine what we think to be a pattern of behavior based upon that first assumed motive. Before we know it, we've built up a total assumption of a particular person's belief system that potentially couldn't be more wrong.

Self-examination, by definition, begins with self. Do you love Christ with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength? Are your motives pure? Are you driven to do everything out of a deep, undying love for Christ and compassion for people? Do you do good things for people with total abandon because you know that not only has God "got your back," but so do the other Christ-followers? Or do you not trust Christ-followers around you because you've been focusing so much on their faults that you think they're not good enough Christians to help you if you put yourself at risk for the sake of Christ?

Following are some fun types of things that Christians are prone to say about one another. Don't say, "Yeah, but..." -- instead, start by just seeing if any of these fit you:

• "He does that kind of music because he only wants to appeal to the younger crowd."
• "He only gives that much to the church because he's jockeying for influence." (I just wanted to use "jockeying" in a sentence...)
• "She just likes to hear herself talk."
• "He says that other people should come to church but then he skips Wednesday night services."
• "He says he wants to build a building for the sake of the kingdom of God, but he really just wants to say he's the pastor of a big church."
• "She talks about people behind their backs all the time!" (saying this to someone immediately turns the statement into an oxymoron...)

I'm curious about some of the assumptions you've made in the past (hopefully) about others in the Church, that God's convicted and corrected you on.

"For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another." - Galatians 5:13-15 (NLT)

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The Mining of Mineral Resources

Today's disclaimer: I've never gotten into crude "guy talk," nor have I ever found humor in the discussion of smelly things and sounds, etc. Many of you are probably like me in that regard. However, I imagine that most of you have used, and probably still use, the "B" word and don't consider it to be off-limits. Now, let's move forward with today's post about mineral resources.

I couldn't use "Picking Your Nose" as the title today, because then my post wouldn't have sounded family-friendly.

How much of a friend are you to me? If I had a foreign object on my face, in my teeth, or visible mineral deposits in my nose, would you let me go about my business with that kind of blemish, or would you say, "Hey, Dean, you have got one big booger happening there"? That, as we all know deep down inside, is the true measure of friendship.

On the other hand, how much of a friend would you be if you saw me in that sort of situation and instead of alerting me, you began to discuss it with your acquaintances? "Oh.. my... goodness... Did you see Dean today?!"

I don't know if I mean to specifically address gossip here, but I do want to make it clear that at some point we can move from being genuinely concerned about stray foreign objects in others people's... err... lives, and move on to an obsession with them. The quest can become an end to itself, rather than a means to see that Jesus Christ is honored.

I feel like I keep using two or three verses over and over here, but I'm going to go ahead and run with it. When I see Christ-followers everywhere implementing them I'll move on to some other ones: "Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." - Philippians 2:3-4 (NLT)

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Living Up to Our Potential

My definition for someone's "potential" would be something like "the undefined phantom goal that others set for a person." Thanks to more driving and listening to Francis Chan (and being quite careful to avoid setting him up on some sort of pedestal), I present today's exciting blogisode:

Back in "the day" (whatever that means) I had a sort of running joke with a friend about commentators who said that Jose Canseco never lived up to his potential (yes, I know -- he's arguably crazy now). He was the first player to hit 40 home runs and steal 40 bases in the same season. He was the first player to belt 30 home runs for four different ball clubs (for the baseball purist, that's not necessarily a good thing). But it is possible, I suppose, that he never lived up to his potential.

As I read about the life of Jesus in the Gospels, I'm sure that you think, along with me, that He really could've cared more about people. Sure, He healed a lot of people and traveled everywhere preaching and candidly telling the religious leaders what God thought of them, but I just don't think He lived up to His potential.

Now, obviously I don't believe that (and felt my hair standing on end when I was typing it), and I feel certain you don't, either. But as a Christ-follower, one whose goal is to be like Jesus Christ in everything, how do I compare? When I look at my interaction with God and with people around me...

Could I care more?

Should I care more?

Do I want to care more?

Ask these questions of yourself and then replace the word "care" with "give" (not necessarily money) and then "love." Are you good to go, or does something need to change? If change is needed, is that something you're going to intentionally make an effort to do?

Give freely and become more wealthy;
    be stingy and lose everything.
The generous will prosper;
    those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.
Proverbs 11:24-25 (NLT)

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The Evidence of Self-Examination

When I wrote about examining my motives a couple of days ago, I knew (or assumed) that my wife would be reading the post, and I paused before writing it. I could probably deceive any of you fairly easily about that sort of thing, just by telling you that I examine my motives daily but not really doing so. However, my wife will always be able to tell if I'm really doing this. If I examine my motives and actions and there is no change for the better -- no evidence that I'm allowing the Word of Christ dwell in me richly (Colossians 3:16) -- then I'm just full of hot air. That's every bit as valuable as if I didn't even bother to examine my motives and actions at all.

We can deceive ourselves into believing that we're being imitators of Christ (Ephesians 5:1-2, James 1:22-25), and we can often deceive others (I believe many church-goers probably give this deception top priority on Sunday mornings). It's rare that we can deceive our spouse, though. I've come to realize that in my case (and this probably applies to you, if you're married), whatever it is that my spouse knows as the real me is probably the real me.

To blogger Amanda, it's odd that the post ended up with those words; there must be something to that song... :)

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It's beginning to look a lot like April.

Yesterday I was reminded of why there is a particular season for everything. I'm learning more every day, and I'm not sure whether or not I should admit to this...

There were some lights on our house that I put up prior to Christmas, and I finally took them down yesterday. These things were made to be taken down during the winter, around January 1st. Do you know how I know this? Because wasps are typically not out and about on New Year's Day. I procrastinated heavily on this task, and it almost came back to bite me (not to mention that it looked very silly to have anything Christmassy on my house in April).

I began to wonder if I'm always so concerned about making sure my spiritual house stays in order that I've shoved some physically practical things to the side, thinking of them as unimportant. And if this is the case, surely these physical things could somehow be negatively affecting those with whom I come in contact, even to the point of being stumbling blocks. I'm seeing how the advice in Proverbs 6:1-11 is not only wise in a practical sense, but wise in a spiritual sense, as well. Not only our actions, but our inaction, can impact those around us.

For those of you who've been negatively affected by the action or inaction of someone, I encourage you to be prepared to forgive them and take the initiative to spur them on to love and good deeds, and for those of you who may be causing that negativity by what you don't do or what you do do, I encourage you to "go to the ant." (Thou sluggard!) :-)

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Writing on the Doorposts

And now for something of a "parenting" post from a guy whose kids are still in the house and are still rather young. "He'll get what's coming to him," you may say. So be it. This post is also about learning if we believe what we say we believe.

"So commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these words of mine [the words of God]. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, so that as long as the sky remains above the earth, you and your children may flourish in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors.

"Be careful to obey all these commands I am giving you. Show love to the Lord your God by walking in his ways and holding tightly to him." - Moses, speaking for God in Deuteronomy 11:18-22 (NLT)

As a child and a teenager, I don't know if I ever really took my dad at his word when he told me that my rotten attitude about many things was actually a spiritual issue at heart. I didn't know just how much impact it had when he wrote out and placed Scriptures around the house (which resulted in memorization whether I wanted it to or not). Had he not continually taught my family the Word (which he had the free will not to do), my life would be different now. Different in what way, I cannot imagine, but at the very least, I feel very safe in guessing that I would not be on a pastoral staff anywhere. (On a side note, this is one fine example of how our free-will choices have far-reaching consequences.)

I don't use my life as an example of how to raise your kids. Instead, I point to the Scripture above. Notice that adherence to that Scripture does not allow us to relegate the teaching of the Word of God to a devotional time with our children in the evenings (times which I'll bet are far less frequent than we'd care to admit).

While, "Because I said so," may sometimes seem like a valid answer to our kids, wouldn't it be prudent to explain to kids that in the Word of God, disobedience to parents is a character trait of those who are sinful, wicked, and foolish? It is grouped with a number of other sins in attitudes and actions which might seem to us to be far more vile. (Romans 1:18, 28-32, 2 Timothy 3:1-5)

In a nutshell, we don't ever have down-time from our Christianity. It is an integral part of who we are. I have come to believe that a great way of measuring the genuineness of our commitment to following Christ is to take an honest look at how (or even if) we pass that commitment along to our children.

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The Big, Overwhelming Picture

My children are homeschooled, and sometimes during extraordinarily busy weeks my wife takes their work at a more leisurely pace (I should interject that I envy my kids for having the privilege of being homeschooled -- I wanted this to happen when I was a child, but it was really an unrealistic fantasy back then).

Occasionally school work will pile up, and as I was talking to my son about random stuff a week or two ago, he told me how burdensome it was to know that sometimes he had "two months' worth of school" (his words, intentionally sensationalized -- really more like a few days' worth) backed up that he had to do. Knowing this makes it difficult for him to be motivated to do the day's work, because it will seem like a drop in the bucket -- a day of work that will feel essentially useless because it won't seem like he's making any real progress in the grand scheme of things.

Similarly, I sometimes think about the big picture where the Church is concerned, and I become dismayed at the glaring negatives:

- Did you know that a Barna Poll (one that's a few years old) showed that just 6% of "born again" adults obeyed God through tithing in 2002?
- Do we see evidence that God is on the move worldwide or nationwide through His Spirit-filled people in the Church?
- Do we see poverty, crime, abortion rates, etc., plummeting as a result of social involvement by Christ-followers all across America? How about in our individual communities?
- Do we see the name of God being lifted up and praised by "the nations" as a result of His Church preaching, worshipping, and living out the Gospel? (Psalm 67)

My response to the first bullet above would be, "Golly, self, I did not know that until I hunted it down for this post." My answers to the last three would be, "Not really," and this kind of thing is what gets me near the point of dismay. It feels like the world will never be changed, and I become very disappointed (that's a rather mild word) in the Church, of which we are a part.

But then I think of the kinds of things that I typically write here. They're not particularly meant for the masses; rather, they're thoughts meant for me and for you -- one person at a time. When we're told by Jesus to love each other (John 13:34-35), that's the very best way we're really capable of showing love -- to one another. In this way our perspectives will begin to be adjusted by God so that we will love the larger group of people, but the way love must be shown is one person at a time.

When a car doesn't run properly, we typically don't replace the whole engine. Instead, we find and repair the faulty part in a localized area.

God gave the Israelites the land He promised them, doing so one city at a time; not the whole lot of it at once. By the way, even those few groups who wanted to remain outside the promised land (with God's blessing) went in and fought with the rest of Israel to secure it.

Even starting within my own church fellowship, it's unlikely that I will be able to be a catalyst for change for everyone all at once, either in leading them to Christ (yep, I said that) or showing them that they must be serious and diligent about what they believe. However, loving, discipling, and fellowshipping with one person at a time has a remarkable chance for success.

The domino effect starts with a single domino.

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"If they could hear my pastor..."

A while back while we were talking over coffee, blogger Preston put into words one of the situations that really bothers me about what seems to be the state of many church members these days. I don't attribute this to him in order to absolve myself of anything, because I agree with what he said (and I'm jealous because he verbalized it first).

He noted that most of those in our church fellowships are not only content, but feel like they've done their duty and maybe even "witnessed," when they invite someone to come to services at their church. The statement was something like this: "If I can get this person to come to church, then they can hear my pastor and they'll get saved."

Now, each situation is different, and sometimes simply inviting someone to church is exactly what is called for. I wonder, though, if people seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in ascertaining whether or not this type of invitation is called for, or if a more "aggressive" approach is correct.

There are at least two underlying points here.

First, it is imperative that we know why we believe what we believe, and sometimes even what we believe in the first place. A lack of understanding of the Scriptures will obviously undercut any believer's desire and ability to tell people about Christ. Many people have a general knowledge 1) that Jesus Christ died for their sins and that He rose again on the third day, 2) that they are going to heaven, and 3) that in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth -- and that's where the depth of their understanding of theology ends.

Personal daily reading and study of the Scriptures is not reserved for the pastoral staff or deacons in a church fellowship. Rather, it is the privilege and responsibility of every single Christ-follower in the world.

Second, the field that is ripe unto harvest is nearly always sitting right under our proverbial noses. With whom do you interact during the day at work, at school, at home, and at play? Do those people know without a doubt that there is something different about you? Have you been waiting for just the right moment to tell them about Christ, and if so, are you waiting as a result of insecurity or fear of rejection, or are you waiting because the Holy Spirit has told you to wait? Worse, are you waiting until you think they forget about a rash thing you said, a dishonest thing you did, or the off-color joke or WMV file you e-mailed them last week?

Whenever I write about things like today's topic, I want you to be aware I am not pointing a finger at anyone without pointing it at myself first and examining these things in my own life.

Be encouraged! If you read this and it hits home, don't look backward; look forward! Ask God to give you the desire to dig far deeper into His Word and into your relationship and time with Him, and for the boldness and conviction to live what you believe and to tell others about it.

Then go about doing it.

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You Dropped A Balm On Me

A while back I was in a store and remembered that I needed after shave, so I bought what looked like the only product the store had in that area: Nivea Extra Soothing Balm. I didn't think that anything with "Nivea" on the label looked like a very manly product, but I bought it anyhow, for the sake of convenience. I now highly recommend it.

I eventually ran out of it and while on my way home from work remembered that I needed some after shave. For the sake of convenience (I like convenience, don't I?) I stopped in at a discount store and picked up an inexpensive, manly-looking bottle of after shave.

When I got home I decided to splash some on to see what it smelled like. I should have opted to take a number of little pins and poke them in my face instead; that would have been more soothing. I hadn't even shaved prior to applying this poison to my face, and it still burned! To its credit, it smelled okay.

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." (Proverbs 27:6, NLT)

"The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense." (Proverbs 27:9, NLT)

Have you ever been encouraging to a friend in spite of the fact that you knew you should call them onto the proverbial carpet? Consider the fact that in many cases, you may be the only person they listen to, and the fact that it's our duty to "motivate one another to acts of love and good works." (Hebrews 10:24, NLT)

"Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself." (Galatians 6:1, NLT)

All this reflection comes as a result of using cheap after shave. If you decide to become a balm to someone this week, though, I recommend the Nivea version -- healing without quite so much burn.

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The Apathy Meter

One of the major problems in troubled marriages is often that one of the parties has become apathetic toward the other. I'm not speaking here about being hateful (which is, of course a huge issue and is also the case many times), but being apathetic.

(image removed as permission to use is requested -- http://www.redbubble.com/people/digerati/clothing/417240-6-apathy-meter)

A partner in marriage can be unknowingly (or knowingly) lured into apathy by lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, or the pride of life. I really like the way that the New Living Translation renders 1 John 2:16: "For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world."

I say this all very delicately, not to attempt to diagnose and/or repair struggling marriages in a blog post, but anyone who has been on the receiving end of apathy in a once-thriving relationship knows how painful it can be, and how absolutely helpless the feeling is which accompanys it. There is usually a deep desire to somehow get the other person to simply care again, and it seems that with every effort to rekindle the fire of the relationship, it just becomes damaged further.

In God's Word, the relationship of Christ to the Church is compared to that of a marriage: "For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5:30-32, NKJV)

How integrated is the mind of Christ with ours? How is the Holy Spirit's control of our lives? How's your apathy meter? In the case of the apathetic Christian, I am not suggesting that God, like a human spouse, has a gaping sense of helplessness where the apathetic follower of Christ is concerned. Rather, here is what Jesus Christ says: "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!" (Revelation 3:15-16, NLT) Yow! He says this to the Church!

The question may be asked, "So are you saying that someone who's a Christian can somehow lose his salvation?" My response would be something like this: "I didn't say that. Jesus says in Revelation 5:15-16, 'I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!'"

Let's not get to the point in our lives where our apathy meter would bring us to the point of asking whether or not we're lukewarm. Let's immerse ourselves daily -- moment by moment -- in the Word of God, prayer, meditation, good works, and fellowship with the body of Christ.

(A note about the image in today's post: I am in no way endorsing the content or the user comments at RedBubble.com. The image above is simply a visual illustration and the link to the product is provided as an acknowledgement of RedBubble.com's ownership of the content)

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