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21 December 2010

A sCarey Morning

This morning while still a little bleary-eyed (around 4:40 AM), I went into the bathroom down the hall from our bedroom and I ran the water, stopping it just before I opened the door (I don't know why I close the bathroom door when I'm washing my hands, particularly that early in the morning, but I do). This meant that I couldn't really hear anything outside the bathroom until I opened the door.

Diverting a little bit here, to say that I'm not a fan of Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" would be a bit of a collosal understatement (I actually don't want you to click on the link to the song there, because you might purchase it, thereby making record execs think that the song is still popular, provoking radio stations to play it again next year). There are plenty of reasons I don't like the song, but they're not important to the story. Okay, maybe one of them is, and it's not the contrived "melody" or the fact that an uninspired, hackneyed-themed song was written around one lyric line. But I digress...

So anyhow, I opened the door and stepped into the hall, and as I did I heard an alarming, even eerie, sound. I couldn't make out what it was, but I thought that Buddy the Christmas Puppy and/or Molly the Needy Puppy had hurt themselves badly. It was sort of like a sustained howling sound, but it varied in pitch. Something was truly wrong. Startled and paranoid for the puppies, I quickly made my way through the darkness down the hall toward our bedroom.

Mercifully, the scurrying of little paws on the wood floor soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread (there's my Christmas literary allusion). The two puppies were running around my feet.

It dawned on me that I must have "snoozed" the alarm rather than turning it off when I got up, because as I arrived at the bedroom door the howling sound stopped and was replaced by sleigh bells and a musical build-up -- the painful sounds I'd heard were vocal embellishments featured from about 25-40 seconds into Mariah Carey's ultimate holiday classic, "All I Want For Christmas Is You." In case you're wondering exactly what I heard, feel free to play the following when I'm not anywhere near your computer...



I'm serious. I thought one of my dogs was either hurt or dying. The radio was cranked so loud that I couldn't hear any bass, or even much definition in the vocals or instruments. It was distorted, and I'm sure that's why I mistook the singing at the beginning for something other than a person's voice.

To be sure, Mariah Carey is a great vocalist with an amazing range, and I know it would hurt her feelings to find out that Dean Lusk isn't a fan of this song (so don't tell her, okay?). And for the record, I don't think that she sounds like dogs howling. Really, I don't. But that ad lib part at the beginning played on a cheap-ish clock radio at full blast at 4:40 in the morning...? well... that does.

Here's how much I know, and how much my musical taste is worth: according to Mariah Carey's tweet on December 9, 2010, "Yahoo.com All I Want For Christmas Is You has sold more copies than any other holiday song in digital history 1,715,000 downloads" -- go figure.

3 comments:

Alaina said...

There is only one reason why I don't like that song is because that story has been done over and over and over again... It's just getting old!

Christy said...

I just don't care much for secular Christmas songs in general. Except for "Merry Christmas, Darling", but that has more to do with Karen Carpenter's soothing alto voice.

M said...

No offense to anyone, really, but when I hear that song by Karen Carpenter... it's kind of creepy (just a bit). And I'm with Alaina on the Mariah Carey song!!!

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