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10 November 2010

If Dogs Could Only REASON...

Two days ago, Molly the Pitiful Attention-Starved Puppy (pictured, weighing in at 11 pounds, henceforth called "Molly the Needy") walked past Jesse the Home Owner (a typical cat, though he weighs 21 pounds). As she passed him, for no reason I could see, Jesse batted Molly the Needy in the side with his paw.

Molly the Needy kept walking toward me, still wagging her tail and glancing at Jesse.

After I'd given Molly the Needy the attention she was apparently desperately lacking, she simply walked over to Jesse the Home Owner and licked him on the face. Although Jesse recoiled slightly, he didn't reciprocate with a slash or a vicious punch to the head.

And they lived happily ever after.

No, really. This kind of thing happens from time to time at my house, yet the animals live together without any of them mauling the others, and they seem to actually like one another (Molly the Needy's scrappy little brother, Buddy the Christmas Puppy, keeps Jesse in line as necessary).

If Molly the Needy were blessed with higher reasoning, as are we humans, eventually she'd get to the point at which she'd say to herself, "Darn it, I've had enough of that mean cat. If he does that again I'm going to foam at the mouth and bite him, just the way I handle people when they try to take me out of someone's lap." But sadly, she doesn't possess our elevated level of enlightenment, so the animals are doomed to live in peace and harmony.

Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!"
- Matthew 18:21-22, (NLT)

“You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. [we obviously don't believe that sentence, even though we quote it very piously!] If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow."
- Jesus, quoted in Matthew 5:38-42 (NLT)

So if someone sues me and is awarded my car, I should give them the XM Radio that's in it?! Only an idiot would do that. Wait... no... Jesus surely didn't mean that literally! He just meant "Be willing to give someone your coat." Right?

"Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets."
- Jesus, quoted in Matthew 7:12 (NLT)

And the biggest one of all...

One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
- Matthew 22:35-40 (NLT)

(Can you tell I've been reading Matthew this month?)

2 comments:

Alaina said...

Wow! That is so True!

Jason said...

This is mostly irrelevant, but the dog and cat dynamic reminded me of Ghostbusters:

Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
Mayor: All right, all right! I get the point!

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